Mommy, No Means No: What My 4-Year-Old Taught Me About Boundaries

The other day, I handed my 4-year-old a package of Koala cookies. A few minutes later, I asked her if I could have one.

She looked me dead in the eye and said: 

“No.”

I laughed and asked again.

She calmly responded: 

“Mommy… no means no.”

😳 Point taken.

This is the same kid who usually zones out when I talk about things like personal space or consent. But in that moment, I realized: she’s absorbing it—because I’ve been embodying it.

Boundaries Are Caught, Not Taught

Our kids don’t just hear what we say. 

They learn by watching how we move through the world—especially when it comes to things like self-respect, saying no, and honoring our energy.

As a somatic coach and Reiki practitioner for overwhelmed working moms, I see firsthand how difficult it can be to set boundaries that feel good in the body—not forced, not guilty, not tense. But when we start doing it for ourselves, our children start to understand that they can, too.

What Life Without Boundaries Looks Like:

• Saying yes when you’re already exhausted 

• Skipping your break to prove you’re a team player 

• Taking on more than you have capacity for 

• Feeling burned out and resentful—and still pushing through

What Life With Boundaries Looks Like:

• Saying no without overexplaining 

• Taking up space without guilt 

• Listening to your body before your calendar 

• Modeling calm, regulated presence for your kids

It’s not just about saying no. 

It’s about learning how to feel safe enough in your body to mean it—and hold it.

Why This Matters So Much

When we’re stuck in cycles of overgiving, people-pleasing, or chronic stress, it’s not just draining—it’s unsustainable.

Your nervous system feels it. 

Your relationships feel it. 

And yes—your kids feel it too.

But when you begin doing the work to reconnect with your body, your needs, and your internal boundaries, everything begins to shift.

You show up with more presence. 

You take care of yourself without apology. 

And you raise kids who believe it’s normal—and healthy—to do the same.

Ready to Explore What This Could Look Like for You?

If this story resonated, and you’re craving more peace, space, and sovereignty in your motherhood— 

Let’s talk.

I offer free consultation calls where we can explore where you’re feeling stretched thin, what’s really going on in your body, and what support might serve you best.

Book Your Free Call